Die Hard, Sakuya
by Dude Jupiter
Summary: An anti-Sakuya story written on request


D I E H A R D , S A K U Y A !  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: (I doubt anyone will ever bother to even read the disclaimer, unless you are like   
me and you are reading it to see if the author has a sense of humor!!) Anyway, here's the   
disclaimer: I do not own Tenchi Muyo! or anything related to Tenchi. I definitely do not own   
Sakuya. (Bet you could have figured that out just by reading the title!) Pioneer and AIC own   
everything having to do with TM!. I am simply writing this for my own enjoyment and the   
enjoyment of others! I am not attempting to make a profit off of this.  
NOTES: I wrote this because I heard this type of story was "in demand". Really, I could have   
figured that out by myself... I know that many Tenchi fans are anti-Sakuya with a passion, and that   
many Tenchi fans believe that Tenchi and Ryoko were meant to be. (If you do not believe in one   
of these things, then this story might not be for you... definitely if you are not anti-Sakuya!)   
Actually, to tell ya the truth, I'm not that much anti-Sakuya myself! I actually kinda feel sorry for   
her..And yes I am for Tenchi+Ryoko.  
ANOTHER QUICK NOTE: Just because I say I am not completely anti-Sakuya (at this time) does   
not imply, in any way, that I do not hate her, or that she (and her dumb master Yugi-the-6-year-  
old-freak) deserves to die. They both deserve bloody, terrible, horrid deaths. So, I shall take the   
world of fiction into my hands and warp it to my desires. If you are unaccustomed to reading   
completely insane writing, then please prepare yourself.  
CONTACT: dude_tenchi@hotmail.com  
NON ANTI-SAKUYANS: If you are not anti-Sakuya, please read my notes at the end of this story!  
  
  
Let the story begin before my introductions BECOME the story.  
  
  
Tenchi sighed and focused his thoughts. He leaned over his wodden desk, peering through   
bloodshot eyes at a single piece of paper on his desk. The small lamp lit his work of art, and his   
fingers, wrapped around a pencil, hovered millimeters above the paper. He needed a single rhyme,   
a single word that would fit into this poem.  
He had to finish it! It was to Sakuya, the girl that was building her life around him! He had   
to let her know how he felt! He had to show her his true feelings for her! He had to make her   
realize how he felt about her! He just hoped this poem would touch the base of her soul as much   
as it did him.  
He scanned over the last few lines of his poem. This was the ending, he just needed the   
ending line now, something fitting, something that would strike her heart. He glanced at the lines...  
Roses are read,  
Violets are blue.  
You like me;  
That was all he had. He strained his thoughts. What rhymed with "blue"? Let's see... who,   
too, true, goo...  
No! The perfect word to rhyme... "You!" He quickly jotted down his last line...  
I hate you!  
Maybe that would get this little stupid female out of his life, so he could concentrate on   
someone else... someone special... someone beautiful and with a personality that struck him   
dead... almost literally on some occasions...  
Well, he'd be sure to give this poem to Sakuya tomorrow... actually, today. It was 1:00 AM   
right now... he had been up for quite awhile working on this poem, which now consisted of 13   
pages, the exact number, Tenchi thought to himself, that I shall use in loops on Sakuya's hanging   
noose...  
Now to hit the hay, though. He put his pencil down, turned the lamp off, and jumped into   
bed, happy that he had finally decided to let Sakuya know how he felt. Soon she would know, too!   
And how glorious the moment would be!  
* * *  
Tenchi walked to school in happiness that morning. The warm sun, which told of the   
oncoming summer, fell down on Tenchi's black school suit, which was becoming uncomfortably   
warm. The light breeze, though, provided some relief for him. It swept past his face cooling it, and   
bringing him the smell of the light forest he was walking through.  
After a while, he reached the school. Was it his imagination, or was that girl standing by the   
door, as if waiting for him?! Yes, it was her. She could not be mistaken, even from a distance. That   
white skin, those green eyes, those corny school clothes... that black hair, always the same...   
Tenchi's eyebrows came together, his mouth twisted in a scowl, and he felt a flame of rage igniting   
in his gut. It was her. That girl. Her. SAKUYA!  
Tenchi walked up to the door to the school. Sakuya stood beside it. The corners of her   
mouth were turned up in a smile. She gave that classic Anime smile... huge smile, eyes closed, ya   
know, that. The smile the girls give the guys they like.  
"Why, good morning, Tenchi!" she said gleefully.  
"SHUT UP!" Tenchi screamed, with a little more rage and venom in his voice than he had   
intended.  
Sakuya kept that smile on her face, and opened her eyes. "Not quite a good night's rest?"   
she asked casually.  
"I stayed up all night writing a poem for you," Tenchi said in a mock-loving voice. "You'll   
love it."  
"OH, TENCHI!" Sakuya gasped. "How SWEET! I didn't realize you would do something   
like THAT for ME!!!"  
"Oh, I would," Tenchi replied, with a sly grin...  
Tenchi pulled a stack of papers out of his back pack... THE papers. All 13 of them. He held   
them out. Sakuya took them, and Tenchi made sure to keep his hands far away from her. He didn't   
want to get infected with whatever diseases she had.  
"Oh, there's a whole STACK of them!" she exclaimed.  
"You bet," Tenchi said. "And I express my feelings towards you in all 13 of them, Sakuya,   
my dear, stupid, ignorant Sakuya! I express how much I long to touch your face... with vials of   
acid..."  
"HOW SWEET! *Sigh... he longs to touch my face!*"  
Tenchi flashed her a fake smile. "Well, I hope you die sometime during the day!"  
Sakuya smiled. "Oh, Tenchi, you're such a joker!"  
* * *  
The day went quickly for Tenchi. He sat in class, barely even listening to the teacher. He   
had finally let that stupid girl know how he felt, that he hated her! Now she'd be off his back!   
Maybe she'd go jump off the Tokyo Tower, and make his life even fuller! Then he'd be truly   
happy - a life without Sakuya!  
School finally ended, and he practically flew out of the school. He jogged through the halls,   
headed towards the doors. He kept moving, kept dashing. He couldn't wait to get out of school to   
celebrate his life without Sakuya! He opened the door, and dashed out, and right into HER...  
Sakuya, being about ten pounds, was hurtled backwards like a doll being thrown by a   
spoiled 4-year-old. She flew through the air, and landed smack on her back. There was a sickening   
THUD, as the back of her skull smashed into the cement sidewalk. A small pool of red blood   
formed under her skull, and her hands instinctively flew to the wound in an attempt to staunch the   
blood. She jumped up, screamed, ran around, and desperately tried to wish the pain away.  
Wishing is in vain, though. Obviously, you cannot pretend away pain. It is just like trying   
to purchase something at Wal-Mart with pretend money... it never quite succeeds.  
Tenchi stood by and watched. He watched as this girl ran around in pain, holding her   
bleeding head. He watched. Deep in his mind, a happiness formed. He was happy.  
But how could he be happy watching this? He was the guy who wouldn't kill a flea (unless   
the flea's name was Kagato, or something like that...). He wouldn't even kill Yugi when he had the   
chance, he only *slapped*. Whoopie. Then how could he stand here and enjoy human pain?  
Was it insanity? Perhaps. Or was Tenchi just becoming wicked? That was a possibility, but   
he would have liked to rule that one out... he could barely kill a spider without giving it a funeral   
these days! Sure, he could kill super-villans. That was part of the job description of being an   
Anime hero! (Other, that is, than the task of getting the "main girl" to like you, which was often   
not very hard.)  
So how could he stand here and enjoy human pain? Was he dreaming? No, not likely. If he   
was dreaming, Sakuya would be dying a much more horrid death...  
Perhaps that was it... perhaps Tenchi had dreamed of Sakuya's death so many times, that   
now that she was actually wounded, it was more like another dream, only a little better, since it   
was real life.  
"Oh, Tenchi, HELP!" Sakuya screamed.  
Tenchi ignored her and walked home. He hoped she'd bleed to death or something. Maybe   
she'd loose most of her blood and be away from school a few days if she didn't die. Anyways,   
hopefully, something bad would happen to her.  
When he got home, he saw the message light on his phone blinking. He touched the button   
on the answering machine, and it began...  
"ONE NEW MESSAGE. (pause) ..."  
Then *that* voice came on. That high-pitched, slightly nasal voice that could only belong   
to one person. "Hi Tenchi! It's me, Sakuya! I hope you're alright! When you ran off for an   
ambulance and never returned, I was afraid you had become lost or something! So I just thought   
I'd call you to check up on you... call me at the hospital if you want me... I'm in room 408. I lost   
so much blood they had to rush in an emergency transfusion, or whatever they do when you loose   
a lot of blood from severe head injuries! Anyways, I'm not dead!"  
Tenchi frowned. "DARN!" he shouted.  
The machine went on. "Anyways, I'd just like ya to visit me sometime! He he he... I would   
really like to see you, Tenchi! And... uh... if you could bring like, uh, some real food, I'd be   
appreciative... The food they serve here tastes like that stuff you dared me to eat out of the sewer   
that one time! (I don't really know what Japanese hospitals give their patients, and I seriously   
doubt it tastes like sewage, but whatever Japanese people eat, I'm sure it's much worse in hospitals,   
just like here in America...:) ) Bye!"  
"Ooooooooooh, Tenchi's gotta GIRLFRIEND!" came Nobayuki's annoying voice. "Finally,   
my son has grown up! So, when's the wedding?"  
"SHUT UP!" Tenchi shouted. "This girl is NOT my girlfriend!"  
"Oh, I see," Nobayuki said. "Goodness, the people of this generation are so term-sensitive!   
What do you call a fiance these days?"  
"I am NOT going to marry Sakuya, Dad!" Tenchi said, his voice filled with venom. "She's   
the last girl on Earth I'd marry! If she and I were the Adam and Eve of the Earth, she and I the only   
ones left on the face of this freaking rock spinning around the sun, I would NOT repopulate the   
Earth. I'd let the human race die out. If she wanted to restart the human race, she'd have to find   
something else."  
"Nonetheless, son," Nobayuki said. "You must go visit this Sakuya girl in the hospital. I   
can't have my son looked upon as someone who is uncomfortable around girls! You must go to   
see her, and take some food! I will have Sasami prepare the food, and you will take it to her."  
"Dad!" Tenchi complained. "I HATE HER! I could write an entire book about the dreams   
I've had about her, in which I murdered her billions of times! ARRRG!"  
"You will do it, son," Nobayuki said. "Or your chores shall be doubled for the rest of   
eternity."  
"OK. Fine with me."  
"Tripled."  
"OK."  
"Your chores will be multiplied by a three-digit-number if you do not do this, son. And if   
you ever don't complete all of these chores, we'll tape you up in a card-board box filled with   
cement, you tied up, and drop it in the ocean."  
"OK, I'll do it," Tenchi said in a sad sigh. "But I will run over, throw the food at her, and   
leave."  
"Fine!" Nobayuki said. "Just make sure you visit her and give her some food."  
Tenchi shook his head sadly. "I will."  
So, after supper, Sasami cooked up some more food and wrapped it up. She gave it to   
Tenchi. Tenchi sighed as he took the food. Nobayuki came up and slapped him on the back.  
"My dear son is finally taking after me and diving into the world of women!" he declared   
proudly. "Careful, son, or you will drown! ... like ME!!!!"  
Tenchi took the food and left the house. He walked down the streets, enjoying the scene of   
a Japanese evening. He finally reached the city hospital and entered. He walked up to the desk and   
said to a lady behind a desk, "Hello, which room is some little ditzy dumbo in?"  
"You mean that girl Sakuya?" the lady asked, never bothering to turn her eyes towards   
Tenchi, as she was too absorbed in filing her nails. "Room 408."  
*Oh, that's right, she told me...* Tenchi thought to himself. "Yeah," Tenchi said. "Is it   
possible to have that room invaded by communist terrorists?"  
"Sorry," the lady said. "Against hospital policy."  
"*Sigh*... Is it on floor 4? Can I visit her?"  
"Floor four, yes, you can visit her," the lady said, still filing her nails as if they were the last   
possession she had in her pathetic life. "Hold on, I'll have to check you into the computer." She   
almost diverted her attention from her fingernails, but decided that was a waste of time. She   
reached her free hand over to the keyboard and slapped a few keys at random. "Okay, you're   
checked in," she said. "Go on up."  
Tenchi took the elevator to the fourth floor. It made strange creaking and snapping noises   
all the way up, which would have made Tenchi nervous, but annoying elevator music covered the   
noises up. Tenchi stepped out of the elevator and started walking down the hall.  
Room 401... Room 402... Janitor's closet... Room 403... Room 404... Biohazard...  
Tenchi would have walked right by the door, but it caught his attention. Biohazard. The   
wicked-looking, black, curved symbol on a yellow background. And the wicked words Biohazard   
below it. (Or across the symbol, wherever the words go...) He thought about this for a moment. He   
was carrying food that Sakuya was going to eat. He was standing next to a room labeled   
'Biohazard'. Tenchi thought about this, put one and one together. He looked up the hall and down   
the hall to make sure no one was looking. Then he slipped into the room.  
* * *  
"Oh, Tenchi! How SWEET!" Sakuya screamed. Her head was wrapped in bandages, the   
back of which was red. Sakuya's green eyes were shining something fierce, and her smile was like   
the St. Louis Arch, only upside down.  
"Whatever," Tenchi said. He gave Sakuya the food, which was wrapped in aluminum foil.   
She took it happily and ripped the foil off. Inside, she found a very inviting plate of spaghetti. It   
might have looked like a normal plate of spaghetti, except that some shining green stuff covered   
the top. The spaghetti around the green, jell-o-like-stuff had burned, and it was emitting a strange   
odor.  
Tenchi smiled at his creativity.  
Sakuya dug into the food. She tore the plate apart (not literally) and then sighed in pleasure   
as she ate the last of the food.  
Tenchi gave a cup that he was holding. (Actually, this food had not come with a drink, but   
Tenchi had "aquired" a very large cup from the hospital store, grabbed a vial of very strange-  
looking liquid, and made a drink for the meal.) Sakuya took it and Tenchi handed her the next   
plate. She took the foil off. It was a slice of pie with whipped cream on the top. The whipped   
cream was decorated with all sorts of pills, big and small, colorful and dull. (All of which, of   
course, Tenchi had "borrowed" from the Biohazard room...). Sakuya saw these as decorations. She   
ate the pie and drank the acid or whatever the heck the liquid was.  
Sakuya sighed again. Then she hiccupped some thick, shining green bubbles which, when   
they popped, threw some bright sparks into the air. "Excuse me!" Sakuya said, covering her   
mouth. "How *impolite* of me!!!"  
"That's okay," Tenchi said. He sat down. He fully intended to watch Sakuya die. "So,... uh...   
how are you feeling?"  
"Terrible," Sakuya said.  
"That's great," Tenchi said in a happy tone. "I'm sure you'll get worse in no time!"  
"He he he," Sakuya laughed. "You are sooooo funny, Tenchi."  
"Aren't I just."  
Sakuya giggled like a four-year-old and then burped up a few more shining bubbles. "So,   
how is life these days?" she asked.  
"For you, life will be ending," Tenchi said thoughtfully.  
"He he he!" she laughed. This time, the bubbles came out of her nose, too. Green fluid   
seeped out of her eye sockets, and the liquids formed a trail down her cheeks. The liquids burned   
her skin, but she didn't seem to notice.  
"I am going to watch you die, Sakuya," Tenchi said. "And I am going to enjoy watching   
you die slowly and painfully."  
Sakuya laughed a little more as blood trickled out her ears. Her head convulsed slightly for   
no apparent reason.  
Just then a doctor rushed in. "Oh my gosh!" the doc shouted. He proceeded to utter some   
Japanese words-of-anger before rushing over to Sakuya. "What happened to her?!" The doc asked   
Tenchi.  
Tenchi shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea."  
The doctor checked her pulse, her breathing, stuff like that. Then he shook his head. "She'll   
have to go in for some emergency examinations," he said. Then he shook his head again.   
"Weirdest thing I've ever seen! It's as if someone snuck into the biohazard room and emptied all   
sorts of toxins in her food!"  
"*Gasp!*" Tenchi gasped. "Who would do a thing as *terrible* as *THAT*?"  
"I have no idea!" the doc said. "But whoever did it, he may have done enough to kill her!   
Oh, boy, this is going to line my pockets with money!!!"  
Sakuya was rushed out of the room for emergency stuff. Tenchi sat in the room laughing,   
happily. Then he got up and left. As he walked by the desk, he saw that the receptionist was still   
filing her nails. Poor lady! She didn't even seem to notice that she had sanded the fingernails right   
off her fingers! She was filing away at tender skin, and some blood trickled down her fingers. She   
didn't notice this.  
Without ever even looking up or even looking at Tenchi, she recognized him, and said,   
"So, how'd your visit go?"  
"Great!" Tenchi said. "Jeeze, woman, why don't you use a power sander for that?!"  
"They'd sand my nails right off," she said blankly. "I want my nails to look nice. Maybe the   
Dr. Reallyhandsome will notice me!"  
"You won't need to paint your nails," Tenchi commented, leaving. "They're red."  
* * *  
All night Tenchi rejoiced about his victory over Sakuya. Soon she would be dead! He spent   
all evening drawing bloody pictures of her, building fake voodoo (or however you spell it) dolls of   
her and destroying them, and things like that. He even wrote a poem for her grave!  
Here lies a girl  
Her I.Q. was about 8.  
She is a girl  
That I really hate.  
I killed her with biohazardous chemicals  
And rejoiced her death.  
Because she was stupid  
And she had bad breath.  
He didn't really think Sakuya's family would let that be put on her grave, but, heck, it was   
worth a shot. (Heck, for that matter, she didn't even have a family, unless you want to consider   
that moron Yugi her mom, but then Yugi is more like a dictator to Sakuya than a mom.)   
Tenchi rejoiced as "Break Things" came on the radio... a perfect song for the moment!   
Tenchi thought of breaking Sakuya's face as the song progressed. His mind was filled with   
thoughts of what he could do to Sakuya with a chainsaw as the song continued. Then it ended and   
went on to another song (It was a really good one, similar to the one I am listening to right now!!   
He he he!!!!)(And it wasn't quite as heavy as Break Things, so Tenchi was calmed)  
Tenchi went to bed a happy man. Tomorrow, school would be heaven! (Actually, school   
can never be heaven, it's more like the government's way of warning us about how bad prison is)  
* * *  
Tenchi walked up to the school. He was smiling, carrying his book-bag, thinking of   
someone special... someone with (guess what color) hair... and (guess what color) (and what kind)   
eyes... (If you guessed (in order) cyan, amber, and feline/cat-like, you are correct, you earn a   
cookie (if you don't have any cookies at your house some water will do) (or, if you're alergic to   
water something else will do))  
He strode up the sidewalk. He waved happily to Bill, smiled at Gus, returned a smile from   
Lisa, waved back at Sakuya, said hi to Gerald...  
WAIT! He jerked his head back to that usual spot at the door. There she stood in all her   
glory... the same school clothes that look like something I believe I once saw the Teenage Mutant   
Ninja Turtles wearing, contrasting in no way at all to her white skin, her green eyes gleaming in   
the sun, and her Upside-Down St. Louis Arch smile creating a scene a mom could take her kids'   
pictures with. She waved her small hand at Tenchi. Her black hair shined in the sun like a spilled   
bottle of ink. Tenchi knew what laid under the hair was a brain about as big as a half-ounce bottle   
of ink.  
"Sakuya, what the heck are you doing alive?!" Tenchi shouted in rage. "I thought I had   
killed you!"  
"The doctor gave me a few organ transplants, and things like that, and he fixed me up,"   
Sakuya explained. "He called me his 'Little Frankenstein' after all those organ transplants! You'd   
never guess it... my organs, when he took them out, were glowing green! Radiation was pouring   
off the organs so much that the doc had to wear a complete radiation suit while he operated on   
me!"  
"Wow," Tenchi said. "I'm sure you must be... happy to be alive."  
"All the more time to enjoy you," She replied happily.  
"How many times do I gotta attempt to murder you before I succeed?" Tenchi sighed.  
"Oh TENCHI!" came a familiar voice... one that played melodies upon the string of   
Tenchi's heart... (Wow, that was poetic. I wonder what kind of music it played on his heart? Mary   
Had A Little Lamb, perhaps?) (Just kidding, it probably played a love song)  
Tenchi spun and found himself looking into amber pools, more commonly known as   
Ryoko's eyes.  
"Ryoko!" Tenchi said with a huge smile. "Why, what are you doing here?!"  
Ryoko lifted up a lunch box and giggled happily. "You forgot it!"  
"Oh, you didn't have to waste all THAT energy on me," Tenchi said, concern entering his   
voice.  
"Don't worry, I can *fly*, Tenchi," Ryoko said, handing the box to Tenchi.  
"But I'd rather suffer without lunch (oooh, suffer from missing one meal! Never mind, just a   
thought) than have you waste energy bringing this to me!"  
"Oh, that's okay, my dear Tenchi!"  
"Tenchi," Sakuya interjected. "Uh... Tenchi, aren't you going to pay a little attention to me?   
(Okay, that one hurt! Waaaa! I want Tenchi to give her a shiny nickle or something, I hate having   
stupid people say innocent lines like that! Oh well, the point of this fic is to torture Sakuya, so I   
shall torture her! Even if I do feel sorry for her when she says that!)  
"NO!" Tenchi shouted, feeling rage return to his mind. "I'll pay attention to you when   
you're resting in your coffin! That's when I'll be strapping time-bombs to your dead body to   
disrupt your funeral!"  
"What's a time bomb?" she asked.  
"Who's the ditz?" Ryoko asked, indicating Sakuya.  
"Saku-idiot," Tenchi said casually. "Whoops, I mean Saku-ya."  
"Oh," Ryoko said. Then she smiled. "I hope you like the lunch... I took the meager one you   
packed out and put something I whipped up in!"  
Tenchi gulped. Sure, Ryoko was one of the greatest people he knew, the one he... well, the   
one he had a secret crush on... but when it came to cooking, well, it was like in Episode 7, The   
Night Before The Carnival! She tried to make Tenchi something, and if it were any worse Ryo-  
Ohki would be dead from food poisoning! (And then my brother couldn't have written Ryo-Ohki's   
Carrot! (Unless, of course, Washu-Grow could resurrect Ryo-Ohki as well as cause her to turn into   
a human))  
Well, by golly, he'd eat it! And he'd enjoy it, even if it was toxic! And he would tell Ryoko   
that she had done a good job, even if it tasted like raw sewage!  
"Well, good-bye, Tenchi!" Ryoko said, lifting up off her feet. "Have a good day at school!   
I'll come back here afer school to walk you home!"  
"Great!" Tenchi said. He waved at her as she flew off into the sky.  
"Tenchi?"  
Tenchi turned to see an upside-down St. Louis Gateway Arch.  
Tenchi kicked her in the shin and walked into the school.  
* * *  
Tenchi took a deep breath, said a silent prayer for protection, and opened his lunch box.   
Inside was a small container. Tenchi prayed that when he opened it no tentacles would come out   
or anything, and that the stuff inside would not glow or something strange.  
"Tenchi?" Sakuya's voice came to Tenchi's mind. "Can I sit by you?"  
"NO!" Tenchi shouted. He nearly picked up the fork in the box and threw it at her, but   
maintained his appearance as a mature 17-year-old high-school boy and did not. Instead, he   
"accidentally" sneezed all over her.  
She wiped it off and sat beside him. Tenchi stared at her, amazed.  
"Didn't I just tell you no?" Tenchi asked.  
"Oh, I knew you were joking!" she said with a laugh. "And... goodness, bless you! You   
practically blew your nose on me!"  
"That was the point," Tenchi sighed.  
"He he he," Sakuya laughed. "So, what did your friend make you?"  
Tenchi opened the container and he was greeted with a wonderful smell! Steam wandered   
up to his nose and he caught a whiff of some wonderful oriental rice...  
Wait! This food was hot after half a day of school? He turned the container over to see a   
small device, resembling Washu, on the bottom. It was blinking a red light, and an indicator on the   
Washu mechanism read, 'HOT'. *Oh,* Tenchi thought. *So that's way.*  
Tenchi ate the rice. It was amazingly good! The flavor tickled his tongue, and he wondered   
where Ryoko had learned to cook so well! Perhaps that why she had been with Sasami so much   
recently...  
After he finished the rice, he stabbed Sakuya with his fork in her leg, got up, and left the   
table and headed for his next class (or however it works in Japan). As if he listened to the teachers,   
anyways... all day he thought about RYOKO!  
* * *  
After school, Tenchi walked outside to find the slim and perfect figure of a beautiful   
woman waiting for him beside the road. Spikes emerged from her head and shot out in every   
direction, and a warm smile lit up her face. She waited there for him, a lone girl in a mass of   
moving students.  
Tenchi's mind was filled with her, but of course, it had to be broken.  
"Tenchi, you dropped your fork at lunch! Here it is!"  
Tenchi turned around in complete disbelief to see Sakuya holding a bloody fork. Her leg   
was also bloody. She was giving him another Gateway smile. Tenchi stared at her dumbly, a look   
of complete disbelief on his face.  
She walked up and handed it to him. His hand subconciously wrapped around the eating   
utinsil. As his fingers touched her dried blood, his mind was blanketed in a wicked rage. This girl   
must die! he thought. His shocked expression turned to one of imminent death. His fingers   
tightened around the eating-utinsil-turned-kill-weapon. He eyed Sakuya as a hunter eyes a tiny   
little fawn with her mommy. Only this Bambi wouldn't run from the hunter.  
Tenchi raised the fork high into the air. Sakuya stood there smiling, happy to have returned   
the fork to Tenchi. Never would she ever realize how stupid this action had been. She stood there,   
those green eyes like a pond of sewage, her black hair like the absence of stars, her white skin like   
spilled white-out, her annoying school clothes like something you would wear as fashionable in   
the twenties, with that annoying, slightly nasal voice...  
Sakuya. An innocent schoolgirl standing outside a school returning a fork to its owner.   
Small, innocent. Never suspecting. It would have seemed like such a small scene if you had   
viewed it from a tall building. (Of course, from a tall building, any scene would have looked small,   
but this one would have looked very small.) You would have thought nothing of it. A simple   
school happening.  
Tenchi threw down his arm. It all happened in slow-motion. He watched as each single   
point dug down into Sakuya's skin, piercing it, and causing it to bleed. He pressed it deeper,   
everything still moving slowly. Then he removed it from her.  
He raised the fork and dropped it again. It went through her skin again. He stabbed again.   
And again. And again. And again. He gored her with a fork. An eating utinsil now a wicked   
weapon.  
STAB! "I LOVE YOU, RYOKO!" Tenchi shouted.  
STAB! "I HATE YOU, SAKUYA!"  
STAB! STAB! STAB! "DIE HARD, SAKUYA!"  
STAB STAB STAB STAB! "QUIT BOTHERING ME!"  
Tenchi kept on forking and forking her. By golly, he would fork her to death! He kept on   
forking and forking and stabbing and stabbing! Finally she fell down limp, but Tenchi kept on   
stabbing! He kept stabbing!  
"Tenchi," came Ryoko's voice. "You can quit. I think she's dead."  
STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB!  
"Tenchi! She's dead! Let her be!"  
STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB!  
"TENCHI! SHE'S DEAD!"  
Tenchi's head snapped up and he saw Ryoko. His expression softened as he saw his secret   
love. He looked down at the mangled body beside him. He wondered what had happened. He had   
been so filled with rage that he didn't even know what had just happened. Until he saw the bloody   
fork in his hand.  
He dropped it in horror. "I... I did that?"  
"Yes!" Ryoko said.  
Horror gave way to joy and Tenchi let out a whoop. He had finally killed Sakuya! The girl   
was finally dead! He could be happy now!  
The only thing that spooked him was the fact that he couldn't remember ever killing her...  
Oh well, he decided. Now I've got to walk home with... Ryoko...  
Tenchi began walking home. Ryoko walked at his side. Tenchi felt her wonderful presence   
pouring out onto him, touching his soul, moving him.  
"How was your day?" Ryoko asked casually, not seeing the feelings behind Tenchi's   
expression.  
(Oh, boy, here comes the first serious part in this story...)  
Tenchi couldn't think of an answer. His mind was wrapped in a world labeled Ryoko, and   
he couldn't escape it. However, he wouldn't leave her without an answer... so he just said "fine".  
"I had a good day, but it would have been better with you," Ryoko said.  
Tenchi sighed.  
"Did you like the lunch I made you?" came the sweet-as-honey female voice, filled with   
expectant feelings. Almost a childish eagerness flowed from her lips, through Tenchi's ears, and   
right around his brain.  
Tenchi's hand came out of his pocket, worked across the small distance from Tenchi's body   
and Ryoko's, and found the hand at her side. Maybe it was Tenchi's imagination, or just a slight   
breeze through the trees or something, but Tenchi could have sworn he heard the slightest of small   
gasps from Ryoko. As if she went through just the smallest moments of shock.  
His fingers wound through hers and he squeezed lovingly. As he walked, he turned to face   
Ryoko. Her cheeks were slightly colored more than usual... maybe a little blushing, a little   
embarassment coming from a ruthless space pirate... and she turned to face him. Her expression   
lightened and a smile formed on her beautiful lips. She looked so cute in that small moment that   
Tenchi could have just stopped and stared at her in that position for the rest of his life.  
She squeezed his hand. The two kept walking down the road, hand-in-hand. A small thing,   
maybe, but something both held as a connection of souls. A sign of affection... that was all Ryoko   
had ever wanted, and here she was with Tenchi receiving that small sign. As she walked, she   
cursed herself as a tear trickled down her cheek and rested at the base of her jaw.  
She finally had someone that appreciated her for who she was.  
And who better than Tenchi?  
Ryoko smiled.  
* * *  
Sakuya sucked in ragged breaths through the oxygen mask. She heard the constant beeping   
of a heart monitor as the ambulance raced down the street. She saw all sorts of peramedics   
huddling over her, adminisering as much aid to her as they could. She lay on the small bed,   
feeling the pain of a thousand arrows stabbing her everywhere. (Not literally)  
She wondered what had happened. In the lunchroom, Tenchi had accidentally dropped his   
fork. But outside the school, he had dropped it so many times! Had he been having a seizure or   
something? She wondered this to herself silently as the annoying ambulance sirens blared in the   
background.  
Suddenly, she heard the driver scream profanities she had never even heard and she felt the   
vehicle swerve violently. There were several screeches of tires and there was a sudden and terribly   
harsh stop. The vehicle swirled and bucked and nearly flipped in a twisted dance of metal with   
other vehicles.  
Sakuya was thrown from the bed. She landed in a pile of things like needles and scalpels (I   
know they probably don't carry scalpels on ambulances!! I'm not sure, but they did in this story, so   
I'm right and you're wrong!!) She was cut everywhere, and then she was thrown around the   
ambulance for a little longer for some extra bruises. She bashed her head against something hard   
and metal, re-opening a wound at the back of her head.  
(**Okay, I'll say this right now: I don't know much about ambulances and stuff, like   
whether they strap the patient down during the ride or whatever... I'm sure they do, but I don't   
know. If you have experience in this matter and you are trying to feel superior to everyone else   
(including me) by pointing out errors in my story, let me say this in my defense: This is my story,   
a world I have created, and I don't have to have it resemble the real world if I don't want to, so   
whether this story is correct according to this world or not, whatever I write is correct as far as this   
story is concerned!**)  
* * *  
Ayeka stared out the window, absorbed in thought. (Thoughts of Tenchi, of course) Her   
eyes widened as she saw it... Tenchi walking up to the house, holding Ryoko's hand. She gasped   
and threw a hand up to her mouth.  
Tenchi had chosen.  
And he had chosen... her.  
Ayeka sniffed sadly. Tenchi... why?!  
* * *  
Tenchi gave Ryoko a look as they entered the house, and he drew his hand back. "I... can't   
let Ayeka know... yet," Tenchi explained. "She's still my friend... and I don't want to hurt her!"  
Ryoko smiled. "That's okay, Tenchi," she said. "Now I... know, and that's good enough!"  
"TENCHI!" came Mihoshi's voice. "Why is this little red light blinking on the machine next   
to your phone?!"  
Tenchi walked over to the phone and pressed the button on the answering machine. His   
eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice.  
NO! SHE WAS STILL ALIVE!  
"Hi Tenchi," Sakyua said on the machine. "I'm really sorry you had that terrible seizure   
which caused you to convulse violently! Your convulsions hurt me a little... but I don't mind! And   
then the ambulance was involved in a six-car crash, our ambulance having been going about 45   
through town! So I was dashed about in the vehicle, got a few concussions and things, but I'm still   
fine! Would you visit me? Paleeze! I'm so lonely! I'm in the same room, room 408. So... will you   
visit me?"  
"Over my dead body," Tenchi hissed at the machine.  
He turned around to see a butcher knife in his hands. He backed up against the wall, having   
been shocked terribly. His father stood in front of him, holding the huge knife.  
"If that's the way it has to be," Nobayuki said. "You will visit Sakuya."  
"Dad, I HATE her!"  
"You will go to visit her... with or without a head, it matters not to me."  
"OK," Tenchi said. "But I'm going to throw pipe bombs at her."  
"Fine by me. Just go visit her."  
Tenchi nodded sadly.  
* * *  
So, after the Masaki supper, Tenchi found himself walking into the Okayama (or however   
you spell it) hospital. He walked up to the desk. The same lady was sitting behind it. She was still   
filing her fingers. She didn't seem to notice that she had sanded her fingers right off her hand...   
now all that was left were bloody stumps. She continued to sand and file at them, grinding away   
small chunks of skin. Blood poured out continually onto the desk, slowly creating a small puddle.  
"Are you here to visit that little chick again?" the lady asked, not even having looked at   
Tenchi, yet recognizing him.  
"Yes," Tenchi said.  
"Room 408," the lady said blankly. "Let me check you in." She slammed the keyboard with   
her bloody fingers, turning all of the keys red. Some gibberish appeared on the screen. Without   
looking up, she said, "Okay, whatever, close enough. You can go visit her."  
Tenchi walked into the elevator and was greeted by an annoying saxaphone. Angered by   
this torture, he reached up and pulled the small speaker out of the corner of the elevator. He pulled   
it off, ripping the wires. The music stopped, and Tenchi threw the thing to the floor and pressed   
the '4' button.  
Well, he wasn't bringing Sakuya food today... How could he attempt her murder? He had   
an idea... he'd bring her a 'pain killer' which was actually something like red sulpher or sulferic   
acid or something.  
He made a stop off at the biohazard closet again. He searched until he found a small   
package... It was labeled 'Mercy Kill Pills'. Tenchi "accidentally" dropped the pills into his pocket,   
walked out of the closet, and went to Sakuya's room.  
DARN! FOUR DOCTORS WERE IN THE FREAKING ROOM!  
"May I help you?" one doc said.  
"Can I give her a... uh... a pain killer pill?" Tenchi asked.  
"No. Nothing unprescribed shall be administered to the patient at all," another explained.  
"Are you her boyfriend?" a third asked.  
Tenchi's expression dakrened. "N..." Tenchi stopped. His mind, working creatively, put two   
and two together. He suddenly came up with an idea, a sick idea, but very creative. "Oh, yes, I just   
happen to be her boyfriend."  
"You may visit her," the fourth doc said.  
Tenchi smiled at Sakuya. "Hey, how's it goin?"  
Tenchi walked up. He pulled out a pill out of his pocket secretly and slipped it between his   
front teeth, careful not to close his mouth around it so the plastic coating wouldn't melt and let the   
contents into his mouth.  
"Tenchi, I need a hug," Sakuya said.  
"Oh, I'll give you more than that," Tenchi said. "Let me give you a *kiss*!" (QUICK NOTE:   
According to this story, Tenchi and Sakuya have NEVER kissed, no matter what the heck you saw   
in Tenchi in Tokyo! That was all, like, Sakuya's dream or something!)  
"Oh, Tenchi, how *romantic*!" Sakuya gasped.  
Tenchi walked up to Sakuya, gripped her jaws, and forced her mouth open. He lowered his   
face close to hers, but far enough away so that nothing happened, and he dropped the pill in her   
mouth. Then he forced her jaws shut and caused her to swallow the pill.  
In this way, he had given her the pill and still caused the docs to think he hadn't! BWA HA   
HA HA!  
"Oh, Tenchi," Sakuya said, her green eyes gleaming. "How *wonderful*!"  
She grabbed his head and pulled him sooooooooooooooooooo close. Tenchi quickly tried   
to jerk away, but she held him. Tenchi's eyes widened as he saw her pucker up and move   
upwards.  
Tenchi gagged. But, instead of holding the gag back, he let 'er rip! He barfed all over   
Sakuya's expectant face, all over her hospital clothes and into her fork wounds, which would   
eventually infect. Tenchi puked and puked and puked until she was completely drenched. Then   
Tenchi pulled away.  
"Ooops," Tenchi said. "I forgot to tell you I had come down with a sudden case of the flu!"  
"Ew," Sakuya said, brushing away the puke. "Well, that's okay! I know you didn't mean   
to!"  
"Of course not."  
"What was that pill you gave me?" she asked in a quiet whisper.  
"A killer," Tenchi said.  
"Eh?"  
"I mean a *pain* killer," Tenchi said. "Yeah, that's it! A pain killer! It'll end all your earthly   
pain and send you straight into eternal pain!"  
"You're such a poet," Sakuya said, her St. Louis Arch coming back to haunt Tenchi.  
Tenchi, overcome with rage, smashed her in the face with his massive fists.  
"AHEM!" a doctor cleared his throat loudly, indicating his presence.  
"Just... uh... giving her a facial massage," Tenchi said quickly. "It's... like... a way guys   
show affectiong to girls. Giving them powerful face massages."  
"Wow," the doc said. "Back in my day they'd call that 'picking on a girl'."  
"Funny how times change!" Tenchi commented, laughing loudly. He proceeded to   
"massage" Sakuya's face a little more.  
"Now," Tenchi announced, spotting a nearby kro-bar, (don't ask me what the heck a kro-  
bar is doing in a hospital, it was just there to help the plot of the story) "I am going to give her a   
full body massage."  
The doctors put on a nervous look. One nervously motioned to the door, his eyes locked on   
Tenchi. "Uh... should we, uh... leave?"  
Tenchi shrugged. "If you want to. This could get... nasty."  
The doctors silently withdrew. Sakuya looked up at Tenchi with a bloody, bruised face. "I   
didn't even know that was what lovers did to each other!" she said through a fat-lip smile. "I guess   
I'm a little behind the times!"  
Tenchi raised the kro-bar above his head menacingly. "You bet, babe," he said, preparing   
his muscles for a powerful swing. "And now I'm gonna love you so much I'm gonna treat your   
whole body to a powerful massage!"  
Tenchi swung the kro-bar as hard as he could. It connected with Sakuya's small body,   
which produced a sickening, blood-stopping 'crack'. Sakuya cried out in pain and Tenchi struck   
again, this time on her rib cage. A few ribs gave way. Tenchi battered her again and again, all the   
time feeling the bones snap under his weapon.  
He turned her over and battered her spine for awhile. After he was done, he searched the   
drawers until he found some very sharp things. Then he completely mutilated both of Sakuya's   
arms until they were masses of bloody shreds hanging off of broken bones. The blood spilled out   
of her and onto the white sheets, turning them completely red. Sakuya shouted and shrieked and   
whatever in pain.  
Tenchi enjoyed the sight for a moment before he left her to die. If she somehow managed   
to life, at least she wouldn't have any arms anymore. She was as good as dead. Tenchi   
congratulated himself for thinking of if she had managed to survive. Now life wouldn't be worth   
living! So what would be the point?!  
He passed the doc's on his way out.  
"Done already?" one asked.  
Tenchi nodded happily and left the hospital. On his way out he saw the lady behind the   
desk, still filing away. She had sanded her hands right off and she was currently filing away at her   
wrist, which stuck out odly. Soon she would have nothing left for an arm but a stub.  
On the way out Tenchi met this little six-year-old girl who introduced herself as Yugi. She   
was weird and stupid-looking. Tenchi cared not about this, but when she told Tenchi that she had   
created Sakuya, Tenchi's eyes widened.  
"And you've been hurting my Sakuya," Yugi said in youthful anger.  
Tenchi stared back at her, feeling a rage building in him. "I DON'T CARE!" Tenchi   
shouted.  
"I DO!" Yugi retorted.  
Tenchi took the little girl out behind the hospital and murdered her. He left her dead body   
in a hospital helecopter, then he went home.  
* * *  
He slept well that night. Knowing Sakuya was dead was comforting. The night gave way   
into a happy morning. He went to school happy. Sakuya was not standing in her usual spot by the   
door! Perhaps she had died! Tenchi silently rejoiced! He had finally killed her!  
"Jeeze, I'm late!" came a voice.  
Tenchi spun around, his day instantly ruined. He felt a fire burning in him, an animal rage.   
WHY WOULD THIS GIRL NOT DIE?! SHE MUST HAVE A POINT OF DEATH!  
"WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU STILL ALIVE????!!!!!!?????!!!!!" Tenchi screamed.  
"The doctors saved me!" Sakuya announced. "They had to amputate both of my arms, but I   
agreed to be the test subject of these new devices, the Bionic Arms, which move and operate just   
as well, if not better than, human arms! And since I'm the test subject, I got the arms for FREE!"  
"I am trying to kill you, but you keep coming back to life!" Tenchi fumed. He clenched his   
fists desperately. "How did you survive the mercy-kill pills?"  
"Supposedly, the food I ate before those pain killers had a chemical in it which canclled out   
the pill!" she said with a laugh. "Well, as far as the rest of me... my face was so badly damaged   
that they had to make a skin graft! I needed so much extra skin that they robbed a morgue and   
used the stolen skin on me! Once again, I earned the title 'Little Frankenstein!'"  
Tenchi stared at her. He sought to kill her with all his heart now. But she would not die! She   
just kept living and living and living! Could this thing not be destroyed? Was it even human?  
"I am going to murder you somehow," Tenchi said. "I don't quite know how, yet, but I will,   
sooner or later! I swear it!"  
"You'll help kill my pain?"  
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!" Tenchi screamed. That was it. He had been driven over the   
edge. He completely lost control of his rage. He turned it loose like the wild animal that it was. He   
grabbed Sakuya's white neck and squeezed for all he was worth. She made some pathetic choking  
noises, and she wriggled, but was held still under his superior grip. Tenchi wrung his hands round   
and round her neck, looking upon her face as it turned from white to red to blue to dark purple.   
Finally she choked her last and her body went limp in Tenchi's hands. He dropped her to the   
ground and rejoiced as her body laid limp on the concrete.  
"Finally, she's dead!" Tenchi said in a happy voice.  
He walked into school and had a nice day. He ate his lunch in happiness and was walking   
down the halls. He stopped in front of the men's room.  
There she was, standing by the door to the women's room. She was talking to some other   
girl. Her neck was bruised and filled with red marks. She looked happy.  
Tenchi was once again filled with an animal rage. He stormed over to her.  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALIVE?!" he demanded.  
"What do you mean?" she asked.  
Tenchi grabbed her by the hair and yanked her into the women's restroom. A few girls   
screamed at a guy entering the room, but Tenchi did not notice. He was completely blinded in   
anger and could think of nothing but his goal. He dragged her by the head to the nearest stall. It   
was empty. Tenchi yanked her into it.  
He forced her to kneel in front of it, and he knelt beside her. He put one arm around her   
stomach and locked her arms in place. Then he placed the other hand behind her head, his elbow   
on her back, and forced her face forwards. He pushed her whole head into the toilet. Her head   
went into the water. At first she was still, but then she began to struggle in desperation for air.   
Tenchi held her in place, though.  
Finally, just before she went limp he yanked her out of the toilet. She gulped in air   
desperately, hyperventalating in Tenchi's arms. Her body wracked in her desperation.  
"Now, are you going to DIE or LIVE?!" Tenchi demanded.  
"Uh... uh..." Sakuya could not speak. She was frantically drawing in ragged breaths of life.   
Tenchi, angered, pushed her back into the pot and nearly killed her again. Then he yanked her   
out.  
"You will DIE, understand, SAKUYA?!" Tenchi shouted to her. "YOU WILL DIE!"  
He shoved her head in again and waited until she almost stopped struggling. Then he pulled   
her out.  
"You taste death yet? You feel that? Better get used to it! Cuz you're gonna die sooner or   
later!"  
Tenchi gave her another round of near-death in drowning.  
He pulled her out. "I'm going to kill you! Hear me? Kill you! ARRG!"  
This time, Tenchi held her under the water until she stopped struggling. Even after she   
stopped, Tenchi held her under. This time he would not walk away, even if he thought she was   
dead. He held her there like that for another half hour. She didn't move a muscle the whole time.   
Finally he left her, her head still in the toilet. He left the room.  
Perhaps, this time, Sakuya was dead.  
* * *  
The next day at school Tenchi was delighted to not see Sakuya anywhere. He was   
completely happy until she walked into the classroom, telling the teacher that she had been a little   
late. She handed the teacher a note, and the teacher nodded. Sakuya sat down.  
"Okay, students!" The teacher said. "As I said, we're all going as a class to AMERICA!   
We'll be visiting the mighty Mississippi river in St. Louis (Yes, I'm hooked on this St. Louis thing...   
I was there a couple weeks ago!! It was fun.)!! You students can even go up the Arch! But you'll   
all be happy to see the Mississippi, the dirtiest river in America! Or at least in Missouri... So we'll   
have FUN! Now... I've paired you all up into pairs of two so none of you will get lost! While we're   
in America, you must stay with your buddy at ALL times, no matter what. Here are the pairs:  
"Bill and Joe. Sandy and Suzie. Tenchi and Sakuya. Andrew and..."  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tenchi screamed, jumping up onto his desk. "I REFUSE TO BE   
SAKUYA'S PARTNER!"  
"I'm sorry, this was all random," the teacher said. "I drew names out of a hat."  
Tenchi, standing on his desk, began tearing out his hair, or at least what little of it he had.   
He shouted profanities like a madman before jumping down, running over to Sakuya, and began   
beating her down, down, down into the ground! (Yes, my radio is on.) With each pound, he   
shouted "NO! NO! NO!"  
"Tenchi!" the teacher screamed. "Stop it! No killing in class!"  
"YOU WILL DIE!" Tenchi screamed at Sakuya. "WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME?   
YOUR SOUL IS HAUNTING ME! I CANNOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER! WHY MUST YOU   
REMAIN IN MY LIFE? IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO RID YOUR HORRIBLE PRESENCE FROM MY   
LIFE? WHY CAN YOU NOT JUST DISAPPEAR FROM MY LIFE FOREVER?! DIE HARD,   
SAKUYA!"  
"Tenchi, enough," the teacher said. "No death threats in class."  
"Stink on class rules!" Tenchi screamed. "Why can't this little ditz just leave my life? I try   
and try and try to kill her, but she will not die! Yesterday I strangled her to death and then   
drowned her, yet she is assigned as my partner!   
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Oh, yes!" the teacher said. "We leave TOMORROW!" (I know you'd never tell students   
that they would all be leaving on a school trip to another country the next day, but such things   
help dramatically speed the plot! I'm not about to spend a whole lotta time on a story that will be   
distributed for free! Maybe I'd spend more time on my books, but not on stories for websites!)   
(Not even websites as great and wonderfully perfect as tmffa.com!)  
Tenchi sighed and sat back down in his seat. He sighed again. And again. Finally, while the   
teacher was talking, he jumped up and simply screamed.  
"I AM GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE IF I CANNOT KILL SAKUYA!" he shouted after   
he had screamed. "We cannot exist in the same universe! Not in peace!"  
"Tenchi, shut up," the teacher said.  
Tenchi opened his mouth, the tip of his tongue bursting with profanities, but he held his   
tongue. His mind was suddenly filled with ideas. Ideas of this American trip...  
He could KILL SAKUYA!  
* * *  
Tenchi came to school carrying his suit case... and a back pack. He had items like clothes in   
his suit case, and absolutely necessary-for-survival items in his back pack, like home-made pipe   
bombs, poison darts, stun guns, vials of acid, things like that. No, Tenchi didn't really truly NEED   
all of this, but he figured they'd come in helpful in his dealings with Sakuya this week.  
They all piled onto the van. No one really cared about the buddy system right now...   
everyone pretty much sat with their own crowd. However, since the point of this story is for   
Sakuya to drive Tenchi to the point of insanity, she decided the buddy system would take effect   
right away! She plopped down on the seat right next to him.  
Sure, this would have normally made Tenchi mad. After all, he had no intentions of being   
with her a full week, or even an hour or two. He would have been filled with rage that she had run   
up and sat by him.  
But no, he wasn't mad at all; in fact, he was quite glad she had chosen to sit by him, to drop   
down on the seat right next to him, as close as possible. He, the creative one, had anticipated this.  
As soon as Sakuya dropped down onto the seat, her eyes widened in shock. Tenchi   
snickered as she flew out of her seat and bashed her head against the roof of the bus. Tenchi   
smiled, casting a glance at the small, almost un-noticeable tack in the seat.  
Normally, this little prank would have been a harmless sting-in-the-bootie. However,   
Tenchi, using his creativity to bring things to the worst, had coated the tip with acids and poisons.   
Now Sakuya did a little dance in the aisle as the acids burned into her skin, making way to the   
blood for the poisons. Soon, hopefully, she would be dead. And all because Tenchi had "dropped   
a tack in her seat... on accident! I'm sorry, Sakuya!"  
"Tenchi, someone put a tack in my seat!" Sakuya said. "Can you beat the person up who   
did that? I know you're big and strong, and you can *protect* me!!"  
"No way. Go tell the bus driver."  
"OK, maybe I should!! Great idea!" Sakuya ran off to the front of the bus.  
Tenchi took the tack and threw it out the window. Next, in the seat beside him, he placed a   
small device. This device would surely give Sakuya a "shock".  
Sakuya came skipping back down the aisles and stopped at Tenchi's seat. "The driver told   
me to go jump in a river," she said. "Do you know what she means by that? Does that mean we'll   
get to swim in the Mississippi?"  
"Yeah," Tenchi said, using his remote-control device to turn the setting on the device on the   
seat to the maximum setting... "kill". Sakuya practically leaped into the seat. Tenchi just barely had   
the time to arm the device.  
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Sakuya pitched forward in the seat, her clothes charred black. Her hair, every inch of it,   
stood straight up. She was cooked! The smell of burning flesh permeated the bus, and students   
began to roll down their windows.  
Tenchi was just about to pick Sakuya up to pitch her out the window when she sat back up.   
"Ow," she said. "I just had this weird dream that I got electrocuted!! Can you imagine that?"  
Tenchi sighed in exasperation. Somehow, in some way, he would kill Sakuya on this trip.   
Then he could go home and marry Ryoko or something...  
* * *  
(I am very unfamiliar with the Japanese methods of checking people at airports, so I'm   
going to make everything up as I go along!)  
"ALLRIGHT, EVERYBODY! HANDS IN THE AIR!" a guy with a huge, fully automatic   
rifle shouted.  
(Heck, I figure, while I'm at it, why not have some fun?!)  
All the students dropped their stuff and threw up their arms. "If anyone moves," the man   
with the gun said. "I'll make sure you'll never be able to move again."  
(I realize Japanese airport routines are not this harsh, but like I said, since I know absolutely   
nothing on the subject, I'm just having some fun.)  
Instantly, forty men, each fully armed with multiple automatic weapons, and gaurded by   
bullet-proof equipment and shields, deployed onto the scene. They immediately proceeded to   
search each student for weapons.  
Sweat formed on Tenchi's forehead. He was loaded. He had knives in his socks, darts in his   
pocket, guns strapped at his waist, knives in holsters all over his chest, not to mention all sorts of   
junk in his back pack.  
Amazingly, though, the gaurd couldn't find anything on him. (All due, of course, to the fact   
that Tenchi had held out a hundred yen bill (or whatever) (whatever is a lot of Japanese money, if   
its yen or shmen or slen, or whatever) to the gaurd. Once Tenchi felt the money slip out of his   
hands, he knew he would be safe.)  
The gaurd, just as a warning to others, shot a few students. The dead bodies fell to the floor.   
Everyone gasped, except Tenchi, who was by now fairly immune to the shock of death. The gaurd   
loaded in a brand-spakin new magazene, even though he didn't need it, just to look menacing.  
The gaurds finished checking the students, and proceeded to check the luggage. Tenchi   
sighed in relief as his gaurd took charge of Tenchi's luggage. The man searched through it for a   
moment, then moved on to the back pack. The guy opened it, his eyes widened a little, and he   
closed the pack.  
After all this, the students had to go through metal detectors. Tenchi, though, also managed   
to bribe the lady at the detectors.  
The detectors, after all, were very strict. No one at all would be allowed through the gate   
with metal on them. The reason was that the metal detectors were fully equipped with machine   
guns. Instead of an annoying buzz if you had metal on you, you got a gut-full of lead. One poor   
boy with a metal filling in one tooth found this out the hard way.  
Next everyone had to take off their shoes and do the Fire Walk (Okay, it's getting a little   
rediculous now, so I'll move right along to the gate to the plane)  
The remaining students smiled as they reached the gate. They were the few, the proud, the   
strong... the survivors. They boarded the plane in pride.  
The plane ride was great. Japanese planes, of course belonging to Japan (the technological   
jewel of the world), were amazingly perfect. (Have you ever watched shows on the Travel   
Channel about Japan? You can like buy tooth-picks with Windows 2000 there!) The plane had   
swimming pools, arcades, movie theatres, even a bowling alley! Tenchi took a peek into the first-  
class section and he could have sworn he saw a hotel.  
The ride was great. Unfortunately, the plane had no seats except the ones by the pool, so   
Tenchi sat there and watched as all sorts of little kids splashed each other, as if causing liquids to   
fly through the air was somehow amusing. The stupidity amazed Tenchi, but he disregarded it as   
something unimportant.  
Finally, the pilot announced to the passengers that the plane was landing, so everyone in   
the swimming pool should get out and begin to dry off. (And for everyone in the bowling alley to   
hurry up!!) Soon everyone stepped off the plane and onto AMERICAN SOIL! (Actually, it was   
concrete, but soil sounds better than concrete in this case, so don't be mad at me for THAT.)  
"Okay, students!" the teacher called out. "We're going to the hotel now! We'll rest up and   
then tomorrow we'll go sight-seeing and junk! Then, finally, on the last day, we'll go up the Arch   
and look out upon America from the sky!"  
The day went quickly. They checked into their rooms, Tenchi disconnected the phone so   
Sakuya would quit calling him, and he and his friends spent the night goofing off around the hotel.   
They rode the elevators (You would be surprised how absolutely fun that is! One night I spent a   
full hour riding the elevators in a hotel just because it was fun. I pushed the boards on top of the   
elevator aside so I could see out into the elevator shaft (just like Batman, except that I didn't fire   
my Batrope thingie (or whatever it is, I hate Batman)), and I did other things like going up to the   
18th floor and then pressing all the buttons so it would stop at every floor and annoy people!!),   
they busted a whole bunch of money in the arcades (of course, they had changed all their   
Japanese money into American money at some conversion shop) and bought junk from the gift   
shop. They also went to the pool, and all Tenchi's friends kept making head motions towards   
certain parts of the pool... but Tenchi knew someone much better than all these people, someone   
he loved...  
Then they all went to bed and had happy dreams and guys snuck out of their rooms and   
bothered people coming into the hotel late and ran up and down the halls at 1 AM screaming   
"FIRE". (I've heard of people I know doing that. They said it was very fun.) (Don't ask where they   
learned the English word "fire".) Also some guys went into the bar and asked for beer and Scotch.   
(That's also fun.)  
* * *  
RING RING RING!  
Tenchi instinctively reached out and slammed at the air. Then he realized his alarm clock   
was not there... ah, yes, he was in America. That's right.  
RING RING RING!  
So what was that? Oh, the telephone. Tenchi frowned. He thought he had unplugged it.  
He picked it up.  
"Good morning, Tenchi!"  
Tenchi slammed the phone down so hard it snapped and the base caved in. Then he yanked   
the cord out of the wall, took the entire phone system and threw it through the closed window. It   
shattered and allowed the device to fall eighteen floors down to the street, where a semi smashed   
into it and sent the damaged-beyond-repair device hurtling into a nearby pool, where someone   
picked it up and threw it into a dump truck, which was currently compacting the trash. The huge   
smasher closed over the phone, and that was the last Tenchi ever saw of it.  
So all day he had to be with Sakuya. Of course, he attempted to murder her on several   
occasions, but he could never quite succeed. A few stabs here, a few gunshots there, but he still   
couldn't manage to destroy her. No matter how hard he tried, Sakuya seemed to exist.  
The days went by, leaving Tenchi more and more frustrated. Finally, the last day dawned,   
and Tenchi was in a mood to murder. Sakuya would die today. Somehow, some way, he would   
kill her. If it killed him as well.  
The day began. They all went to a restaraunt to eat breakfast, and, of course, Sakuya   
decided to sit beside Tenchi. Tenchi, having anticipated this, had cleverly planted several sharp   
things on the seat. Sakuya squeeled in pain and managed to smash her knees into the underside of   
the table, and Tenchi had a laugh.  
All day continued to build Tenchi's rage. Sakuya followed him everywhere. She constantly   
annoyed him, bugged him, and when he tried to murder him she asked for his protection. Could   
anyone possibly be so blind?  
Hatred stirred in Tenchi's heart. He made more murder attempts at her in that day than he   
had at her as long as he had known her. Things were building in Tenchi, a rage he could not   
control. Then came the fatal trip to the Arch.  
It was getting dark. Everyone was too excited to notice clowds gathering at the horizon, and   
the clouds didn't look that menacing to the city's meteorologists, so the trip up the Arch could   
proceed normally.  
They all got into the tiny trams. Sakuya was practically sitting on Tenchi's lap.  
"So, Tenchi, have you enjoyed this trip to America?" Sakuya asked.  
"No, not with you," Tenchi hissed.  
"That's good," Sakuya laughed. "I know I have... being with you this whole week has been   
a wonder."  
"It's a wonder you're not dead by now," Tenchi said, his face turning beet-red in rage,  
"You're soooo nice, Tenchi," Sakuya sighed. "I... I..."  
"DON'T SAY IT!" Tenchi shouted. "I don't want to puke... again."  
"I really... like you, Tenchi," Sakuya said.  
"I really... hate you, Sakuya," Tenchi said.  
"You're a great friend," Sakuya said.  
"You're a stupid enemy!" Tenchi shouted, his rage almost beyond animal instinct.  
"I want to be with you forever!" Sakuya said.  
"I want to watch you suffer in eternal pain forever!" Tenchi returned.  
"I could look at your face all day," Sakuya said.  
"I could look at your face all day as well," Tenchi hissed. "If it were ripped to shreds by a   
chainsaw."  
"I LOVE YOU!" Sakuya said suddenly.  
Tenchi screamed. He proceeded to amaze the people in the tram with him by shouting   
several Japanese words. If they had known what these Japanese words meant, they would have   
jumped out of the tram.  
They reached the top and Tenchi flew out. He ran up the steps and onto the main thingie.   
There were many windows on both sides. Tenchi saw that outisde it was raining and lightning   
began to flash.  
A man in a suit stepped to the middle of the main area and made motions like he was about   
to adress everyone in the Arch. He began to speak.  
"Sho fla veko emme lo tassa bre tonna eh lo kattah mo grega, le sootoo bo nuf keds like   
noto effor! Esgarako nototo elsio!"  
(Actually, the man had said, "Attention everyone - the storm outside has reached a critical   
state and we should go back down, but the trams systems have malfunctioned and we are trapped   
up here! Don't touch anything metal or you might be electrocuted!", but to Tenchi it just sounded   
like gibberish. Even though it was completely foreign, when several people gasped he knew it was   
bad)  
The translator translated what the man had said and everyone was scared. Tenchi sat down,   
and heck if Sakuya didn't sit beside him. Tenchi snapped.  
"GO AWAY!" he screamed.  
"I'm scared," Sakuya said. "And I love you and I want you to protect me! I'm scared!"  
Tenchi stopped. He sat there stupidly. Had he misheard Sakuya? No, he had heard   
correctly. She had said she was scared. Tenchi's brain suddenly felt devoid of rage, a sort of   
fatigue. He had had enough. Rage had given away to something even more primitive. More   
primitive than an instinct to kill. A desire to destroy the very soul of the person entered him.  
"Oh, I see," Tenchi said in a calm voice. "You're scared. Well, I didn't know that!"  
"Yes, I'm very scared."  
Tenchi laughed hysterically. "Scared! Well, Sakuya here is scared! Imagine that! HA HA   
HA! She's scared, and I get to protect her!"  
Sakuya nuzzled against him. Tenchi threw his arm around her shoulders. "Well, imagine   
that! She wants me to protect her!"  
The Arhc began to sway violently, and people were sitting against the sides, crying, fearing   
for their lives. The man in the suit had announced that the winds were reaching a critical speed and   
could knock the Arch down. Many people in the room were crying, some were pacing, people   
were doing things, preparing for their deaths.  
Tenchi, eyes bloodshot, temporarily insane, kept his arm around Sakuya. "So, little   
Sakuya's scared! Well, that's great! Me, Big Tenchi, is here to protect you! Hehehehe!"  
Sakuya smiled despite the situation. "I love you."  
Tenchi turned his head to face her. It was a slow, jerking motion. He had a huge, demented   
smile plastered on his face, and his bloodshot eyes stared deeply into Sakuya's. "Let me show you   
love!" Tenchi said. Immediately, the arm around her shoulder tightened dramatically. He lifted her   
up right off her feet, turned around, and balled his fist. The windows on the Arch were very thick,   
but nothing could stop the power of Jurai. Tenchi pulled his arm back and smashed right through   
the tiny window.  
Then, using his Juraian powers, he melted the area around the window. He brought Sakuya   
with him as he climbed out the window and flew up to the top of the Arch.  
Sakuya was actually scared. Tenchi held her in front of him. It was raining the likes of   
which no one had ever experienced, and the wind was blowing at tornado-force speeds. Lightning   
flashed like flash cameras from Heaven and thunder cracked like bombs. Tenchi held a terrified   
Sakuya out in front of him, exposing her to these elements.  
"See it?" Tenchi shouted hysterically. "Isn't it beautiful? This is St. Louis at night! Look at   
all the street lights, the Mississippi River flowing along! Isn't it a picture-perfect sight? And I get to   
share it with you!"  
"Tenchi!" Sakuya said through tears of desperation. "What are you doing? Please, put me   
down!"  
"Oh, you want down?" Tenchi asked, unable to focus his own two eyes upon her face due   
to his insanity. A lightning flash lit up his face for Sakuya, and she screamed in horror at his   
demented look. "Wouldn't that hurt?"  
"Please don't kill me!" Sakuya begged.  
"Wh... why would I kill you?" Tenchi asked, water dripping off his hair freely. His   
expression turned to one of demented exasperation. He shook Sakuya by the shoulders violently   
and spoke to her with such force that spit flew out of his mouth. "Why would I want to kill you?!"  
"I... I... Tenchi, please!" Sakuya said, her shoulders shaking violently from tears wracking   
her body.  
"Tenchi please? Please? NO PLEASE! KILL! KILL! KILL SAKUYA!"  
"No, no Tenchi!" Sakuya shouted. "Please no!"  
"SHUT UP!" Tenchi screamed. Then his expression softened. "I wonder if the people on the   
streets drive in the right side of the car or the left? I wonder how much money it costs to buy a   
local newspaper?"  
"Tenchi, you're insane!!" Sakuya said through desperate tears. She held on to him so as not   
to fall off the Arch to the tiny scene below, but didn't want to be near him at the same time.   
Tenchi's feet were firmly planted on the surface, held there by Jurai powers.  
"Is it cold out here?" Tenchi asked. Then, shouting, enraged, he shouted, "IS IT COLD?!"  
"Yes! Yes!"  
"THIS IS YOUR LAST MOMENT, SAKUYA!" Tenchi shouted suddenly.  
"No, Tenchi, no!"  
Tenchi wrapped his fingers around Sakuya's neck, pried her free of him, and slowly moved   
her outward. He stopped when his arm was fully extended. He watched the girl between his   
fingers in the rain. The wind and rain beat down hard on her body. She cried desperately, holding   
his arm with both of her hands. Her hair was completely drenched and flew about in the rain. Her   
feet dangled above the huge drop. She was helpless in his hands.  
"Tchhh..." Sakuya tried to talk, but Tenchi's grip on her throat prevented this.  
"Sakuya," Tenchi said softly.  
The rain and wind beat down on her, and she trembled violently in Tenchi's fingers. Her   
body wracked itself in terrified tears. Her mouth opened wide in her sobs, and Tenchi saw, for   
once in his life, the most twisted scene he had ever seen. Sakuya was facing death, finally, and she   
knew it.  
She was there in his hand. He had her helpless.  
The days were over. Tenchi, the killer, looked into Sakuya, the innocent victim. How had   
she ended up like this? She did not know. But it was all over now. There was a sudden mental   
connection between killer and victim, in which they could read each other's thoughts just by   
looking into the other's eyes. Sakuya's cries subsided as she saw into her eyes. The end was near;   
she knew it.  
Then it all ended. Tenchi's fingers opened. He heard one last scream from Sakuya before   
she fell. It was all in slow motion. Her body fell down. Tenchi saw her eyes go down, past his   
shoulders, past his waist, past his knees, past his feet. He saw her body shrinking in his view. The   
darkness swallowed her up. The rain blocked the view. There was no lightning. As Tenchi   
watched her disappear from view, the storm reached the most violent point yet. The winds raged   
like never before, the rain beat down like rocks.  
And Sakuya was gone. Tenchi stood atop the metal work of wonder, looking down into the   
swirling mass of rain droplets, seeing where he had last seen Sakuya. He breathed heavily, feeling   
the water rushing over him. Then, after a moment, the rain subsided. Tenchi stood there, still   
looking down.  
After quite awhile, he finally climbed back into the Arch. He plopped down and fell asleep,   
still completely drenched. But he didn't care about being a little wet. He was exhausted.  
The good night's sleep calmed him and restored his sanity. In the morning he could think   
clearly. The storm had subsided during the night and ended, and the guy in the suit announced   
that the trams had been fixed. Everyone went down.  
Sakuya was nowhere to be seen. No body, no blood, no nothing. Nothing at all. Not a   
single trace, not even a stray black hair. Nothing.  
Whether, that night, she had disappeared, ceased to exist, been carried away by flying   
beings, washed into the Mississippi, or whatever, Tenchi never found out, nor did he really care.   
That night was the last time he had ever seen her, any trace of her.  
For some strange reason, no one even remembered Sakuya. Her name had, apparently,   
been erased from all of history except Tenchi's mind and memory. Only he knew of her from that   
day on. Any time he mentioned "Sakuya", the person he was talking with would say, "Sakuya   
who?"  
Tenchi did not mind being the only one who knew of this girl. She was gone, that's what   
mattered. And all was peaceful.  
* * *  
Right now, though, Sakuya was the last person on his mind. He smiled as the miles went   
flying by and remembered everything that had happened after that.  
He had announced to everyone his love for Ryoko. Ayeka had been shocked and hurt the   
worst. Everyone tried to help her understand, but she could not take it. She returned to Jurai.   
Tenchi felt terrible about this, but it could not be helped.  
Mihoshi had been offered a great position within the GP, which she gladly accepted. She   
left. After that, only Washu, Sasami, and Ryoko were left, Sasami staying because, "after all, the   
house will need a few decent meals!!"  
Washu could accept Tenchi's decision, though it truly hurt her, too, for awhile. She soon   
recovered and encouraged her daughter.  
Then Tenchi had gone off to college and pursued his life-long dream, whatever that is.   
Maybe it was being a carrot farmer, I don't know, but whatever it was, he passed through college   
with straight A's.  
After that he had come home and secured his own apartment. He continued dating Ryoko,   
until one night he had bowed down on his knee in front of her and offered her a ring and a desire   
to marry her. Ryoko had been only too ecstatic to accept.  
The marrige had come and gone in a breeze. Now, their wedding day, behind the wheel,   
Tenchi's mind wandered to a point in the past when Ryoko had told Tenchi that someday she was   
going to take him on a real trip. Tenchi had told her that he would like that very much.  
Here they were on their trip. And the sky was not the limit... only their imaginations were   
the limit.  
Tenchi pulled the car to the side of the road and put it in park. He and Ryoko stepped out of   
it and into the huge mass of metal waiting for them. Ryoko sat down in her seat, and Tenchi sat   
down in his, a newly added one.  
Ryoko smiled and called, "Take us away Ryo-Ohki!"  
Tenchi put his arm around Ryoko as he felt the sudden joly of lift-off. Ryo-Ohki "meowed"   
and the ship accelerated towards the atmosphere.  
Ryoko leaned very close to Tenchi. Tenchi, for a moment, was speechless. He had had   
something he wanted to tell Ryoko on the tip of his tongue, but now he could not say it.  
Ryoko brought her mouth to his ear and began to whisper into it.  
"I told you that if you wait, the carnival will always come back..."  
"Mmmm..." Tenchi said in a agreement.  
"The carnival for us has only begun..." Ryoko said.  
In that moment Tenchi, once again, knew she was right. The adventures for Tenchi and   
Ryoko had only begun.  
* * *  
THE END -- Epilogue after author's notes --  
* * *  
Credits: written by: ME!  
  
That was the shortest credits in the world! Please stay by, though, to read my after-story notes! I   
have some appologies to make, some offers to share, things like that. Just bear with me a little   
longer! I know I've already bored you to death enough, just hold out on me a little longer.  
  
ALL PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ANTI-SAKUYA READ THIS NOW *BEFORE* YOU SEND ME   
HATE MAIL!!! I am NOT anti-Sakuya, yet somehow I managed to write this story! Therefore, I   
have proved that I can write anything! If you are mad at me for writing this story, simply email me   
and tell me you did not like what happened to Sakuya, tell me what you'd like to happen to her,   
and I'll do it!!! Hate mail will only cause me to block your adress, thereby eliminating your   
opinion! I will write ANYTHING you want me to, as long as I'd feel right writing it. No, I won't   
write lemons, sorry, so if that's your idea, you can... uh... not suggest it.  
The truth is, I actually feel sorry for Sakuya! That may sound completely insane to all you   
anti-Sakuyans, especially after reading this story, but it's very true.  
I guess it could all be because of my dear sister Ashley. I gotta confess, she was the human   
version of Sakuya... white skin, black hair, green eyes. Small frame. Glowing expression.  
She was a few years younger than me. We grew up together happy for quite awhile. She   
turned into a pretty young lady. She was very gentle, kind, shy, tender, sweet. She was so pure,   
wouldn't do anything wrong if her life depended on it! That's where her troubles set in.  
As everyone knows, as you grow older, your definitions of right and wrong, of cool and   
uncool, of good qualities and bad qualities... they change. That's where Ashley's problems set in.   
She was constantly teased at school for being so shy and so "perfect". She earned positions like   
"teacher's pet" and "brown noser". Almost every night she would cry herself to sleep.  
Life became death for her. She suffered rejections from every side, and it hurt her terribly. I   
could not stand it any longer, so I began to stand with her. I destroyed my social position to hang   
out with and "idiot" so I could protect her.  
It's not like she wasn't pretty. Yeah, she was, but she still seemed to drive everyone off. Yet   
she was so sweet, not a quality that should have driven people off, but instead this should have   
attracted people! It truly made me wonder what the world was coming to.  
The rejections continued. However, I stood at her side and protected her. When she was   
tossed around emotionally she would run to me for comfort, which I gave her. Most brothers and   
sisters, at this age, fought and tried to kill each other... we became "best friends". (No, no, no,   
nothing ever reached a state where I thought things I shouldn't have thought about a sister! So   
don't even begin to think that!)  
I thought her life couldn't get any worse. Then it was found out that she had a severe   
infection in her heart and that a risky operation was mandatory or she would die. The date crept up   
on me, and it scared me to death.  
I remember the last time I saw her alive. She was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to all   
sorts of machines. She was looking up at me, smiling.  
I could only stare at her in confusion. Why was this happening? She had lived a life of   
constant rejections, and now she was here? How? Why? Was the world determined to torture her   
as much as it could until finally she was gone?!  
I could only look at her until she spoke those ghostly words...  
"You are so important to me..."  
I could only watch her in growing agony as tears slid down her small cheeks. She stared up   
at me with trusting eyes.  
"It's gonna be okay," I had assured her.  
She had handed me a small leather pouch. "I want you to have this..." she had said in the   
weak voice she had, turned nasal by tubes running into her nose. (At that point she wasn't getting   
enough oxygen, due to the fact that her heart wasn't pumping as much as it should have, so they   
had to put her on pure oxygen.)  
I took the small pouch but did not open it. I put it in my pocket.  
"I've got to go," she had said. "But I want you to remember,... you was always there for me   
here on earth... If I don't make it... I'll watch over you from Heaven..."  
I had nodded through tears. "Sis, you'll be okay."  
Then she spoke her last set of ghostly words to me...  
"If only the world had more people who were willing to treat everyone equally... we'd all be   
okay..."  
The doctors were told she was ready and she was taken away. The last time I saw her alive   
was when she was being taken past those double doors. She lifted a hand in a wave, the doors   
swung shut, and she was gone.  
I waited in the waiting room nervously. Of course, I *knew* that she wouldn't die. That   
happened to other people, not me.  
But when the doc came out and asked to speak to my parents, I knew something was   
wrong. The operation was supposed to have taken longer than this. I stood, as if to follow the   
doctor, but he held up a hand.  
"Your parents only, please."  
My heart lept up into my throat and everything went far away. I knew what those words   
meant, those "parents only" words meant...  
The funeral came and went. Everything rushed its way along. I was in a complete state of   
shock... denial. Finally, after the funeral, at the grave-side service, I finally realized that this was   
the end. I held the small locket she had given me in my hands as I wept.  
So, every time I think of Sakuya, I think of my dear sister Ashley, of all the torture she had   
gone through before she died. And I feel terrible. Actually, I just made that whole story up. I never   
really had a sister. I just kinda wanted to make up a story.  
  
But really, I do feel sorry for Sakuya. Maybe it doesn't have a story about a precious sister dying   
to back it up, but that's the way I feel. It's just this thing I have... I don't know why, but I can't   
stand to see girls in pain! I guess it could all be attributed to that soccor story... (this one is real,   
don't worry)  
  
It was at a soccor practice. This girl, so much smaller than me, was driving up to my right side.   
The people to my left were setting up. I couldn't let them get the ball, so I attacked it with a ton of   
force. I did get the ball, but I also managed to sprain the girl's ankle. Sure, through tears she said it   
was okay when I appologized, but I could never quite get over that feeling that I had been   
someone huge persecuting someone so small! It was sickening! I had harmed someone that small   
and innocent and frail, whether intentionally or unintentionally!  
  
Maybe that's why, I dunno.  
  
ANYWAYS! I appologize to all you people who aren't anti-Sakuya! I can write whatever you want   
me to, cuz now I feel bad! I think this world would be a much more peaceful place if Sakuya had   
never been invented, but now that she has been there, we can only accept it...  
  
So, anti-Sakuyans, what did YOU think? Well, actually, I already know the answer to that one.   
99% of the people who believe in Tenchi+Ryoko (Which is about 80% of Tenchi fans) are   
completely anti-Sakuya, I realize that. (I would be about the 1% of people who believe in   
Tenchi+Ryoko yet still feel sorry for Sakuya...) So for you guys, this was like, I hope, good,   
maybe even a tad funny... heh... heh... heh...  
  
So anyways, email me, tell me what you think, give me an idea to write a new story from. I can   
write anti-character, for-character (little Tenchi+character stories), or plot-driven... whatever, I like   
to write so send in ideas! (Even people who are for Tenchi+Sakuya, and I'll say that again, cuz I   
don't like to torture people without retaliating against myself, but I don't exactly want to go all out   
and write a story for Sakuya unless someone asks for it...!) (Yah, I know, I'm an idiot)  
  
Also, I don't only write comedy fiction. I can write very deep, thoughtful stories. I can write   
action, science fiction, fantasy, just about anything. So if you request a story from me, be sure to   
"specify" how you'd like the story. If you want a completely insane story, tell me, or if you want   
some other kind, tell me. I really want to write for people, and write what they like, cuz I LOVE to   
write! So PALEEZE TELL ME!  
  
Okay, you can quit reading now if you want to  
  
Well, it's been fun. Hopefully, we've shared a few laughs, a few tears, a few moments of complete   
insanity... it's been great! Thanks to GenSao for being crazy enough to allow completely insane   
writers like me to infest your website! I know you've worked long and hard on tmffa.com, and I   
think it's one of the best websites on the net! I really do!  
  
In closing, I'll just sum up everything and say just a few things...  
1. EMAIL ME! Tell me what you think, and what you'd like me to write about, if you like my   
style! Hate mail will be greeted with a hearty "block"! Like I said, if you didn't like this story, tell   
me what to write!  
2. Realize that some things are FICTION and we don't need to go crazy when someone blasts a   
part of that fiction!  
3. Remember to think at least 12 new insane thoughts a day  
AND  
6. GO TO TMFFA.COM EVERY DAY! YAY! And look out for future stories by me... I feel like   
I'm going to invade GenSao's website. I write a lot, somtimes full books (100,000+ words, which   
is about 700 KB, somtimes 800 or 900 KB)! So whipping up 100+ KB stories are no problemo for   
me! That's why you can tell me what to write next!! Have fun, live happy, and always remember   
that insanity is very funny.  
  
And now for the EPILOGUE!  
  
EPILOGUE  
  
Tenchi never did find out what happened to Sakuya. He had visited the hospital once, to   
see if, somehow, she was alive once again. The lady behind the desk (who had filed off her entire   
arm and was now filing away at her shoulder blade) said, no, no Sakuya was in the hospital at this   
time.  
No girl was ever found in the Mississippi (as if you'd chance to find a body in the likes of   
the Mississippi), and no body was ever found. As said before, no one even remembered the girl.   
After awhile, Tenchi began to wonder if the girl had ever even existed. He had tasted insanity,   
after all... maybe she had been a figment of his imagination.  
Or maybe she had been real. Tenchi would never know.  
He and Ryoko led happily married lives for the rest of their lives. They were blessed with   
10 kids and Tenchi became the a trillionaire (or the equivalent in Japanese money, whatever that   
is). Ryoko was constantly hounded by Hollywood for her supreme beauty and all of Tenchi's kids   
were extrememly powerful in the way of the Juraian Force (Just kiddin, I'mnot turning this into   
Star Wars (yet)). Everyone loved the Masakis and they became so famous that a world dictatorship   
was set up with Tenchi as king of Earth.  
And thus ends my story. Please give me something new to write.  
  
THE OFFICIAL END OF THIS FILE  
TMFFA RULES  
IF YOU DISAGREE THEN... WELL... YOU CAN GO THROW YOURSELF IN CROCODILE-  
INFESTED WATERS 


End file.
